What do you want out of football?

If glory and respect is what you’re after – do you think this will only come playing ‘proper’, 11-a-side, football?  Is futsal a game for old guys that never quite ‘made it’ – an excuse to run off the excesses of the previous weekend?

RUBBISH!

Grassroots football is dying. Futsal is where all the cool kids hang out. TWEET THIS

The English FA know this – they cite the rise in popularity of futsal as a major factor in the decaying 11-a-side game at grassroots level.

Why?

People will state the obvious (futsal is fantastic for improving fitness, it develops your first touch and control) but they are missing the fundamental differences.

So, here they are – 27 REAL reasons why futsal is better than 11-a-side football.

    1. When futsal is played indoors even the most fickle of footballers can play all year round.  Frozen or swamped pitches will not slow you down and gale-force winds can’t ruin that beautiful coiffed hair style.

      Play futsal indoors and protect that fantastic barnet

    2. Do you have any idea how impossible it is to get 22 players for a miserable Sunday morning game?  You only need to get 10 gullible fools for futsal.
    3. Goalkeepers want more involvement than just hoofing the ball into the wind or having to retrieve it from half a mile behind their goal.  In futsal they can be crucial to outfield play, distributing the ball around like a majestic Andrea Pirlo.
    4. So you prefer council-run excuses for pitches, covered in dog foul and used…..well, you know what I mean.  You’re right – those are better than state of the art privately run futsal facilities.  Who needs floodlights anyway?

      Nope

    5. Futsal pitches often have walls and fences.  Great for keeping the ball in play, and crucial as footballing fortresses to keep out those rough little kids that try to steal your ball.

      Aaarggghhh, shoot it! SHOOT IT!

    6. Sick of your team mates not passing to you?  With less players on your team in futsal, they’re going to have to pass to you at some point, right?
    7. Standing still, freezing your backside off, is for overweight and aging full-backs. Futsal is too back and forth for you to get cold.
    8. Too hung-over to make that horrific 40-yard run?  No worries – you’ll never have to run more than 5-10 yards at a time in futsal, saving your team mates from seeing the contents of your stomach.
    9. Even the most technically inept player can look like Messi when they fluke a pass to a team mate off the walls.

      Even the most inept players can look skilful

    10. You never have to endure the shame of being penalised for a foul throw-in, or get angry when one of your team mates does it again, and again (and again).
    11. Offside rules?  Save that poor referee from all of the abuse and goal-poach until your little heart is content.
    12. Short of a player or two?  No problem.  There’s always ‘rush-keeper’!
    13. The wearing of a full-kit is not necessary.  In fact, it should be avoided at all costs.  Wear whatever you want, just as long as it doesn’t match (and bonus points if it clashes with the opposition)

      Never. Ever. Turn up to futsal in your full kit

    14. Where else can you showcase your 1991 PSG retro shirt you got off eBay?  Surely, a vast improvement on the bag of rags you’re usually forced to wear in 11s?
    15. Too tired/unfit/hung-over?  No problem – take your shot in goal and catch your breath. Do try and make a save every now and again though.
    16. Too old to play?  Come over here old-timer.  In futsal we respect our elderly for your footballing ‘brain’.  Now, get in goal Grandpa!

      You’re never too old to play futsal

    17. Who cares what the scores are, as long as everyone realises exactly how many goals you bagged.
    18. Have a head shaped-like a 50p coin?  No problem – we don’t like to head the ball anyway.

      Head shaped like a 50p? No need for heading in futsal

    19. Who can be bothered with 90 minutes?  With fives you’re all done and dusted within an hour.  Plenty more time for the pub afterwards (or before).
    20. Can’t afford those Christiano Ronaldo signature boots, in pink, yellow and green?  You can play fives in your gran’s slippers for all we care.
    21. Your ankles and shins are going to thank you for playing futsal – tackles are less likely to put you in Accident and Emergency.
    22. ‘Tactical geniuses’ are less common, with their superior knowledge from that Summer where they played Football Manager a lot.
    23. Ever hear of a ‘false-nine’, ‘box-to-box midfielder’ or ‘inverted winger’ in fives?  Nope, there’s no place for that kind of rubbish here.
    24. Fives – you can play anywhere.

      You can play futsal practically anywhere

    25. Like to take pot-shots from the half way line despite how angry your team mates get?  Forget those guys, you’re a hero in fives.
    26. No longer the hallmark of the worst player on the pitch, the toe-poke is actively encouraged in fives.
    27. Who washes the kits?  No-one.  There is no need for matching kits.  Futsal teams are picked based on who is wearing roughly the same colour t-shirt.

Now it’s all making sense isn’t it?  Why anyone would consider playing 11-a-side is baffling.  The short-sided game is growing faster than ever while numbers in the 11-a-side game are plummeting.  No wonder national teams, football associations and even FIFA are quaking in their over-priced and garishly-coloured boots.

But before you run off to go and find that old pair of Adidas Sambas, please share this post with your friends via Facebook and Twitter.